Why do we forgive? It’s a popular idea that we need to forgive so we can get free from the bondage of our past. This sounds very spiritual, but it misses the heart of God and downplays the power of what Christ has become for us and what we have become in Him.
Scriptures in Focus
“that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not reckoning their transgressions against them, and committing to us the word of this reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:19)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Popular Misbeliefs
So many forms of selfishness have infiltrated the Gospel. Here are some popular forms: Believe in Jesus so you can go to Heaven. Give so you can receive a blessing. Forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for YOU to get free.
These things sound logical, but they are not centered in the life of Jesus.
Could you imagine Jesus grumbling and complaining about the Jews on His way to the Cross, and then saying, “I’m fed up with these people, but I’m gonna get on this Cross and forgive them so I can be free!”
That sounds so hilarious and twisted coming out of Jesus’ mouth, and it is just as twisted in our hearts and out of our mouths.
It is often taught that God left Jesus while He was on the Cross, but Paul gives us a closer look at what was really happening in that moment: “God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself…not counting their trespasses against them.”
What a powerful reality! God was not somewhere far away when Jesus was suffering. Jesus says, “My God, why have you forsaken me”, He is quoting the Psalm. He’s quoting it so that the Jews can remember the Psalm about the suffering Messiah. He said that more for us than for Himself. He said it because that’s what sin made us like. It kept a constant separation between us and God.
The Psalm begins, like many others, with feelings of isolation and abandonment, but ends in a declaration of truth:
“For he does not despise nor detest the afflicted person; he does not hide his face from him, but he hears him when he cries out to him.” (Psa 22:24)
God was not far from Christ when He took on the sins of the world. God wasn’t afraid of our sin. He was right there in Christ, in the middle of our sin, our shame, and our pain reconciling the world to Himself. He was not grumbling and holding a grudge against the world. He didn’t lay down His life because He was so angry with us. He laid down His life because He was so angry that sin was keeping us from Him. That’s a whole different kind of love and forgiveness.
Forgiveness Like His
This leads me into what I want to say on Forgiveness. Do we think God forgave us so HE could be free? Do we think God forgave us so that HE could let go of His past? I tell you, this is not God’s kind of forgiveness.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son…”
God’s forgiveness was motivated and IS motivated by only one thing: His great love for us!
How does this apply to us? Have you considered your motive for forgiveness? So often, we say we “let that person go so you can get free.” Or, “I just put that behind me. I’m not thinking of them.”
These statements reveal that we haven’t really forgiven in the way The Father and the Son forgive.
A Short Story
Let me share a story with you,
When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time over my best friend’s house. There were these guys who lived at the end of His street who started to have problems with us. It got so bad that one time they brought a whole gang of guys to my friend’s house wanting us to come outside and fight. One of our friends went outside and fought against one of their guys, and after that they left. There was also one time when we were hanging outside and we saw a car drive by and heard something like gunshots which made just quickly duck down on the ground. These guys really didn’t like us.
Well, a few years later, after I had given my life to Christ, I was sitting inside the food court of a mall near my old friend’s house. I had my head down eating, and when I looked up, I couldn’t believe my eyes. One or two tables away from me was this guy sitting with his girl. He looked familiar. Sure enough, it was one of the guys from my past who my friends and I had conflict with. My heart started racing. I heard the Lord say, “Go over there and apologize to Him.”
From a natural, flesh perspective, I could have thought, “I don’t owe him any apology! He should be apologizing to ME!” , but God’s perspective is so much higher.
That feeling wouldn’t go away. I knew I had to make things right. God began to soften my heart. I couldn’t allow this guy to think that the same guy he had problems with a few years ago was the same guy who was now sitting here across from him. That old Justin was dead! I wasn’t going to allow this former enemy to walk away without encountering the new me in Christ, without encountering the love of Jesus. I wanted this guy to be free like God made me free! I wanted Him to experience the joy of having your guilt and shame removed like mine was! I wanted Him to experience Jesus! I wanted Him to know that I had nothing but the love of God in my heart!
So, I got up and carefully walked over to his table. I said something like, “Hey man, sorry to interrupt you. I don’t know if you remember me, but you and my friends used to have beef.” Immediately the guy sat straight up with this serious look on his face. He was in defense mode, ready to fight. I said to him, “I’m not here to cause trouble. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for everything we did to you back then. God has completely changed me.” The guy started cursing me out, thinking I was just trying to cause trouble, but his girlfriend told him to calm down and hear me out. I finished by saying, “I just wanted to apologize for back then and let you know that I’m not that person anymore. God changed me, and He loves you. I’m praying for you. God bless you and have a blessed day.” Then, I turned around and walked away.
I don’t know what happened to that guy, but I got so much insight on how God’s forgiveness looks from that event, from simple obedience.
Message (cont’d)
Forgiveness is not merely some tool we use to free ourselves, it is the love of God operating in us, the ones who have been freed from sin, to free others. That is why He says,
“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”
What that means is that God’s heart is to release us from the debt we owe Him because He hates seeing us in bondage. When we become secure in that love, when we realize that we were not created to NEED love from people, but to BE LOVE for people, it creates a peace in our hearts where we no longer allow that person to remain indebted to us. We don’t forgive because they owe us something. We forgive because we owe THEM the love of God, the same love that He demonstrated towards us.
Because we are in Christ, we are “complete in Him who is the head of all principalities and powers.” (see Colossians)
We are not forgiving so that we can be complete or so that we can be free. We are forgiving because Christ has made us complete in HIM, because he has MADE US FREE!
Action Steps
So I ask you, have you truly forgiven from the heart? Are you waiting around for that person to get themselves together before you stop withholding parts of your love towards them?
Remember, what that person did to you doesn’t take away anything from who you really are. Their actions don’t define you. You are complete in Christ. His sacrifice and presence within you defines you!
In fact, if they really knew who you are and what you’re worth to God, they wouldn’t have treated you that way.
I didn’t forgive my dad to get free. I didn’t forgive him to feel complete. I forgave my dad because God made me complete in Christ. I experienced the joy and freedom that comes from being forgiven, and I wanted my dad to experience the very same joy and freedom.
That is what forgiveness looks like. It is allowing The Christ to manifest Himself the same way He did on that cross through you today. It is not just God letting go of the evil we’ve done. It’s Him actively pouring out His love, kindness, and goodness on us “when we were His enemies.”
So, find that person. Don’t just forgive them in words. Forgive them in action. Do good towards them. Pour out a blessing on the one who deserves it the least from you. That’s how God forgives. That’s A Forgiveness like His.
Christ lives in you and wants to get out. That's how we worship in Spirit and Truth.
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